From the recording (This is) My First Rodeo


Well this is My First Rodeo
I thought it would be a blast
But there's too many dudes
Thinking they're cool
In their brand new cowboy hats

Well they think they're real funny
But their boots ain't muddy
And they've never even rode a horse
They just drink their Bud Lights
And chase pretty girls for sport

It's a turnin', burnin' barrel race
Fat white folks all stuffin' their face
Cover bands grace every stage
As another chuckwagon horse breaks its leg

This is My First Rodeo
I surely won't be back
Found out real soon
Folks don't like the tunes
And now I'm feeling like a horse's ass

Well we sang 'em real soft
And we sang 'em real pretty
But we never played Wagon Wheel
I forgot that if they don't know the words
It has no appeal

There's a hoot and a holler as they open the shoot
They're kickin' them horses with the spurs on their boots
The header ropes the horns or at least he tries
While the heeler lies to hide the fact that he likes guys

This is My First Rodeo
I thought it would be a gas
I hopped on the two
On the hunt for free booze
But then I fell into a Calgary trap

With their ten dollar pints
And their white collar lives
And their endless blue party support
I'll be back on my way with my tail between my legs to the north
Yes Edmonton is f***** up but Calgary is a bore
And I'm beginning to wonder if rodeo is a sport